A Day Without Whiskey Is Like...Just Kidding I Have No Idea

A Wise Woman Once Said "Nope, Not Today" And Lived Happily Ever After

Beer Me, Bro

Beer Pong Champ

I'm An Introvert I'm Just Not Very Good At It

Day Drinking Champ

Give Piece A Chance

Hopeless Romantic Seeks Filthy Whore

That's A Horrible Idea. What Time?

If You're Offended I'll Help You Pack

I'm Just Here To Lay Some Pipe

Let's Netflix And Chill

May Contain Alcohol

Morningwood Lumber Co.

I'm Not A Gynecologist But I'll Take A Look

No You're Right Let's Do It The Dumbest Way Possible Because It's Easier For You

I'm Not Saying I Hate You But I'd Unplug Your Life Support To Charge My Phone

People Suck

Shit Show Supervisor

Sharing Is Caring

Some People Just Need A Pat On The Back

This Is Fine

United States Drinking Team

Thy Field Of Fucks Be Barren Therefore I Shalt Give None

Let That Shit Go

Why Yes Actually I Can Drive A Stick

WANTED: Cabana Girl

Wanted: Cabana Boy

Duct Tape Won't Fix Everything But It Will Muffle Screams

Sarcasm It's My Native Language

You Had Me At 'I Hate That Bitch Too'

Challenge Accepted

Whatever...I'm Ready

I Love The Outdoors I Drink Win On Patios

I Need A Huge COCKTail

Bad Ass

Doggy Style

F-Bomb

Dill Doe

Legalize Everything

Single AF

Blow Me

Four Skulls

A Day Without Beer Likely Won't Kill Me But Why Chance It?

Make Sexism Great Again

Don't Do Drugs (Without Me)

Whiskey Is A Food Group

Bring Back Pin-Up Girls

Mustache Rides Inquire Within

Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time

Here's A Breaking Story: You're Full of Shit

In All Fairness I Was Left UNSUPERVISED

If You Love Someone Let Them Nap

Well That's Not A Good Sign

Warning: Contains Facts and Opinions Some May Find Offensive

Here For The Boos

Big Foot Saw Me But No One Believes Him